Hi. well i guess i might as well just go out and say it. it sucks being fat. and even worse than that.. it sucks being semi-fat. You know? Its like oh your super obese so heres this drug or sugery. But when your semi-fat its like heres an apple go run. I would know. Because i am that semi-fat chick. Im that girl who can hide her figure with baggy clothes to make you assume that i may have a nice body underneath but what you dont know is it's because the girl standing next to me who eats what ever the fuck she wants wearing half the clothes next to me taught me at a young age to be self conscience. On one hand you'd think that i should thank her. Being self conscious has taught me a lot of things in life. For example: binge eat your pain away then take laxatives or just dont eat for the next day or 2 and things will even out. Or hey you should just stop eating and enjoying life all together than you can be like me and boys will notice you. Theres only one problem i found with that lifestyle. although yes the boys did talk to me and for once in my life i wanted to be in that wretched 2 peice was that unless i kept up only eating 1000 calories a day and burning off more than that before school started that i would once again fill in those jeans with my huge ass thunder thighs and gross cottage chesse and bread roll stomach. which since then has come in quite nicely. I suppose i could go back to that lifestyle and be a skinny bitch and as much as id like to i simply cant. why? cuz i love food. i love trying different things. and now everytime i go on a diet i get that dam sugar tooth that spirals me back into my depressing semi-fat self that tries to convince myslef that hey im not half bad and that if i suck in this way while wearing this out fit i can look semi-not fat. Oh! i didnt even tell you the best part! I didnt tell you about the whole realization that i was headed towards a life of attempting to lose that "forbidden fifteen" for what seems like the rest of my life. I just happen to be a figure skater. Now doesnt that suck. Being the fattest girl in the ice show number. The one who actually uses the bathroom to change and that feels soo uncomfortable in her outfit that she pops every jump and travels every spin because instead of focusing on doing the thing she loves shes too worried about that audience member sitting 3rd row upper left in the green comparing her to prepubescent penny showing off her flat stomache and amazing quads muscles.
Now that we have a basis for where i stand on an short introductory level lets be clear on what i mean about semi-fat. Im 5'6'' and weigh 150. now i know that doesnt sound terrible. but if you saw me naked you would agree. something has to change. and for someone who actually exercises (though not as much recently) and continuously tries different diets, natural and un-natural, to lose weight but simply cant i will say life sucks. and if you feel at least somewhere on the same page with me give me a whoot whoot. cuz its not just about the weight problem. its about the kid who did get the grades and did the extra curicular clubs and sports and still didnt get into the school of their dreams but they know someone who did only they cheated their way by never actually doing a piece of homework on their own. To that kid who didnt get picked for the team they were plenty good at but didnt have a particular coach during the previous season. Or to the kid who has everything it takes to make it to the top but they arent considered because they cant afford it. To that kid i say this is bullshit and even though were in this boat. were going to rock the shit out of it. till we can at least say we had fun.
heres to you.
- hellcoaster of a semi-fat chick.
