Pizza and Breadstix

Alright so like usual... i have a few good days then a terrible night that makes all the work i put forward simply fade and show no results. Am i the only one who does this? Its rediculous and i know it so why do i do it? The worst part of all this... because i love food.. i can eat a lot. So when i say a bad night i mean a whole little ceasars pizza and breadstix plus some candy all to one girl the moment she got off work. I literally worked for 5 hours got off, smoked a lot, smoke a cig, smoked a lot more, and ate and ate and ate. I was full i could tell but in my head for some reason i better finish it tonight cuz after "tonight" im going to be serious about this diet and never touch pizza again. Or at least for a while. The best part about the fact i ate the whole pizza to myself is when i went to go get it i had to pretend like i was getting it for multiple people. Honestly what fat person is going to go in and be like what do i want for dinner... hmmm... i'll take a large cheese and some breadstix. NONE. So naturally i pretended like i made the conscious decision that everyone likes cheese pizza and breadstix. And when the guy asked me if i wanted sauce to go along with my breadstix i said "hmm.. nahhh.. they dont need the sauce... it'll just be a mess." I really fooled him. And the moment the van was a block away i dug in before i even made it home. Well its a 25 min drive home and i didnt want it to get cold. And dont worry i didnt eat it all before i got home.. no way! I ate all the breadstix and about 4 pieces by the time i got home then finished the rest while on the phone with my sister and my favorite show on TV. Which by the way is Criminal Minds in case any of you cared or enjoy it as well. So what do you think of my progress? Alright well like usual i back peddaled quite a bit. But there is this really really cute boy that i like who actually hangs out with me that i want to impress.. and it's summer.. and of course i want to be healthy.. duh. And not to mention... i had my first show practice this last tuesday and guess who is the biggest in the group... this semi-fat chick. If its any consolation though.. theyre all still like 17 and under so their metabolism is just starting to deteriorate and when it does they are screwed cuz i see what they eat... and well though im not the best example.. i'm one of them.. and i started having trouble keeping it off around that age and now that im almost 20 i really should get a handle on things before it ruins my life. So here's to another day. Now because of last night i wont eat today. I know i know.. thats "bad for you" but honestly i ate enough last night im sure i have some extra calories that can be used like "roll over minutes" for a phone company. Ill just burn off the extra from yesterday like they were added today. Have a pleasant day and stay away from the pizza and breadstix.
-hellcoaster of a semi-fat chick